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How to Beat Christmas by Being a TW Grandma – By guest blog writer, Granpa Cratchet
Published on: December 24, 2016

 

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Granpa Cratchet

I was asked to write this blog because I know all about tightwad grandmothers. Hey, I’ve lived with one for over fifty years. So, actually I’m over qualified to write this. Here’s my top 5 1/2 reasons (some of these aren’t worth a whole number) why TW (tightwad) grandmas love to have Christmas in February. Just to be clear, you might be a TW grandma if you reuse your garbage bags. You might be a TW grandma if you separate your two-ply toilet paper. So, if you’re a TW grandma, read on. Here’s why TW grandmothers love to have Christmas in February . . .

1. TW Grandmas love to have Christmas in February, that way they can buy stuff 80% off after the first Christmas. And get 90% off scratch and dent. TW grandmothers know to watch for groups of grandmothers in buying frenzies in December so they’ll know where to find the best scratch and dent later.

2. TW Grandmas love to have Christmas in February so they can use left over Super Bowl snacks as Christmas dinner.

3. TW Grandmas love to have Christmas in February so they can combine Christmas and Valentine’s day. Hey, if you decorate the Christmas mistletoe with hearts, you don’t have to buy a tree. Economize is the word!

4. You might be a TW Grandma if you line up at Wal-Mart at four a.m. on February 13th, now referred to as “Black Heart” day so you can buy those cream filled, chocolate covered, sugar flaked, marshmallow bunnies to put under the tree and not one single person will complain about their gift.

5. TW Grandmas love Christmas in February because by then the Christmas lines at the post office have dwindled down to a manageable length. (I love the folks at the post office, but you have to admit they’re an easy comedy target)

5 1/2. You might be a TW grandma if you wash your Christmas paper plates so you can reuse them next year.

5 3/4. Oh, I can’t resist one more final grandma goad, you might be a redneck TW grandma if the only house you decorate is your outhouse.

Smile this year and add two years to your life!  Granpa Cratchet

Granpa Cratchet, the spokesman for the children’s product division of Sam and Debbie’s publishing ministry, has been seen by millions at fairs and festivals all around the world. Watch his funny, educational videos with your kids at www.oldcoot.com or www.youtube.com/granpacratchet .