Fulfilling Firsts While Never Alone

Anthony is facing new challenges today as he has done all his short life. The first day of first grade. Most of us remember when it was us. A scary time at first. then a great adventure beginning the rest of our lives. I am his grandmother who has raised him for five years and I can’t stop crying. Not because the baby is growing up but because it seems he’s going off alone into the world.

I’m listening to Matt Redmon as I pray for Anthony. His song says “Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did you leave us on our own, God you are faithful…” Jesus, take Anthony’s hand as he walks into that bus and classroom. Let him feel your presence and know he is not alone.

I have been there for so many firsts. His first day facing life after his daddy died, first day separated from mommy when she almost died in the accident, potty training, first gator ride, first day riding his bike without training wheels. first day of kindergarten, first T-ball game, and the first night he was restored to his mommy and spent the night there. For this first, I am there in spirit.

Anthony is sensitive and caring. At 18 months after his daddy’s funeral it was evident  that he had abandonment issues, He was separated from his sister also. He could not be left alone, he followed us everywhere. I retired because I could not, would not leave him in daycare with strangers. I believe these abandonment issues are healing. He knows he has love and value to many. Yet, he still doesn’t like to be alone in any part of the house. He follows you with his game in tow. So grown up, yet still a young one in search of reassurance.

If he does something he shouldn’t he hangs his head and crys. Especially if he’s hurt someone like wrestling with his cousin. I see this sensitive boy who means the world to me, getting on the bus alone, going into a new classroom with new kids and a new teacher. I pray he’s not overwhelmed and there are no tears. I literally pray Jesus take his hand and walk with him. When he was in kindergarten he said,” I will never be afraid for God is with me,” bring that to his remembrance now Heavenly Father.

Whether we are 6 or 60, we all struggle with feeling alone at times, or experiencing firsts that may be uncomfortable or difficult. No matter what you are going through, God cares about you and will bring you through your challenges, as He will bring Anthony and me to a place of rest and peace.Take my hand Jesus as I journey through this life, my firsts, seconds, and thirds. God is faithful, reassuring and we will never walk alone.

                                                   Love, Debbie