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Instead Of What If, What Now?

How do you encourage  your young one that they can get through a difficult time and walk in victory and success when they’ve made a bad decision? Especially if that decision harms or jeopardizes someone else? What about when adults make bad decisions, does God stand at a distance? Absolutely not, and neither should we. Jesus reached out to the sinners, tax collectors and prostitutes. What did He say to the woman caught in adultery who should have been stoned; I do not condemn you, go and sin no more. (see John 8:11)

You may wish you could go back and change a situation, but you can’t. You may succumb to the what if… or if only… but don’t hang out there. It’s a place of condemnation, destruction and growing guilt. Instead ask what now? You can’t change what happened, but you can change your response to it. Leave the place of darkness and go to a place of light. That place is a person and His name is Jesus . He brings love, healing and grace where there once was guilt and condemnation.

But what if you’re not a Christian? For goodness sake, why not? Why miss out on the love, acceptance, peace in the midst of the storm and eternal life? “ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world: but that the world through him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17 KJV )

The good news is when you encourage someone else, you get encouraged. We all need a kind word that will lead to victory and success. Here’s a list of ways to encourage your young person and help them live in victory not defeat:


To love is to listen. Ask your young person some questions and listen without judgement when they answer. Show them love and acceptance. Not approval of what they did but unconditional love of them. The kids should not despise themselves. Remind them they are a priceless treasure and worthy of love. You may not like what your kids did but you should always love them. The love from God is unconditional and is always yours, no matter what.  “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ( Romans 8: 38-39, NIV )


Help your kids understand many things happen in life because of choices. You make decisions that impact your life and those you love. Mental, spiritual and physical health and your very DNA can be impacted by decisions. The landscape of your brain is paved by your choices. If you choose love, peace and joy, these attributes will be the result. You are what you think, what you believe becomes your reality. Let our young ones be filled with words of kindness and value so they will know they are important in this life. This will help them make good choices now and as they grow.


Encourage your young person to never give up and say I can’t, for this is saying I won’t. Learn from your mistake so good will come out of it and it won’t be repeated again. Some situations you have no control over, but you do have control over your reactions. I’ve heard people say I couldn’t help it, I have a bad attitude. The truth is your attitude does not control you, you control your attitude.

Thomas Edison pressed on when inventing the lightbulb. He tried 10,000 times before he got it right. This is what he said, “ I have not failed 10,000 times- I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”


Any loss or mistake must be mourned. Motivate your kids to share and express themselves. They must be allowed to cry, get counseling, and share with a trusted friend or family member.  They shouldn’t resist a hug or refuse to give a hug where needed. Have hope even if it feels hopeless. If you don’t walk through the mourning and grief, you can’t walk into healing and restoration. Jesus promises release of darkness for the prisoner (no matter what has held you captive! ), and a crown of beauty for ashes. (see Isaiah 61 )

I know of a fourteen year old girl who took the car out for a joy ride with a friend. There was an accident and the friend died. There were many repercussions; legal and personal guilt. Even jail time. There was quite a journey to go through, but in the end she came out a peaceful and productive person. Because of the loving support of her family what could have been destructive, turned out constructive.

Dole out discipline in love, don’t heap condemnation and guilt.

When you or your loved are faced with ruin, it’s hard to see restoration. But there is power  and transformation in prayer and making the effort to shift a bad situation to better and best! You may be experiencing a Friday, but take heart…Sunday is coming with new life, resurrection and peace in the storm!

God Bless you and yours, Debbie

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Sam is a businessman, writer, entertainer, speaker, husband, father to five children, grandfather and great grandfather. Sam graduated from Huntington University with a B.A. in psychology and drama and pursued a degree in Broadcasting from Illinois Central College with graduate degree in Christian Ministry from Christian Leadership University. Sam is the creator of Granpa Cratchet, one of the most successful touring shows in the history of the live events industry. Millions of people see Granpa every year all across the United States at fairs and festivals. His characters have appeared on every major network: Good Morning America, Entertainment Tonight, The Today Show (4 times). Sam and his characters have made over 500 local appearances and on all the major networks; NBC, CBS, ABC, ESPN, PBN, The LeSea Network, The PTL Network and Praise the Lord. They currently appear all around the world every week on YouTube and Facebook, and on several satellite networks via the Kidz Television Network and The Captain Hook (children's) Show.

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