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How to heal the hole of hurts
Published on: April 10, 2024

Some things happen in life that leave a hole of hurts. That hole leaves you feeling empty, wounded, undesirable, incapable of going on. How do you fill the hole so you are whole again? It can be done. Maybe you’ve lost someone through death or divorce, your kids made bad choices and don’t want to see you, you’re faced with a health or financial crisis. Whatever the situation, here’s six ways to fill the hole that hurts so you’ll be whole.


One foot in front of the other. One shovelful in front of the other. It’s a process to fill a hole but it can be done. It can be wholly filled by the Holy Spirit who will never leave you in the hole (Hebrew 13:5). As it’s filled, He will hold you as the soil comes pouring in. Then as you pat that dirt down, He is with you as you stand in victory on top of the place where the hole was!


You may be in it, but you are not the hole. Where is your identity? If Jesus is your Lord, you are complete in Christ. The God of the universe is with you and gives you strength and peace, as the most Holy one makes you whole. Matthew 20:29-34 talks about two blind men who called out to the Messiah. He had compassion and healed them. They saw not just with physical eyes but became followers of Jesus. Imagine what they saw the last week of His earthly life and resurrection! They definitely came out of the hole of blindness and were made whole by the Holy one!


The depth of the hole is proportional to the depth of love or loss you have experienced. You can never be fully prepared for the pain as it assaults you. In a fragile attempt to prepare, do as well as you can to accept the loss and pain by allowing time and tears. Time will never heal but it lessons the intensity of the pain. It will be ten years this month since my son died. It’s still a terrible loss but I prepare for the onslaught of pain by remembering where he is and how he is pain free in Glory for all eternity.


The hole of hurts gives purpose in your life. Empathy for other’s pain is real when you have been there yourself. You can encourage others to come out of their holes. I would not be writing and encouraging others if I did not go through the pain of losing my husband and my son. God sustained me so I could come out of the hole that held me captive to chaos and pain. 


The support from friends and family is crucial. When you are deep in the hole of hurts, help can come from others who give you a hand to come out of the depths of pain. Your futile efforts may falter without their help. And hugs always help in finding wholeness. Once you have found hope and peace, you will want to help others come out of their hurts and experience the delivery and freedom you have found.


“Fill your thoughts with my words until they penetrate deep into your spirit. Then as you unwrap my words, they will impart true life and radiant health into the very core of your being” (Proverbs 4:20-22 TPT). Filling yourself with God’s Word will bring hope and healing. Meditating on scripture will protect every crucial corner of your life so the hurts won’t harden and be difficult to remove. 

Going deeper with God will not cause you to go deeper into a hole. It’s the way to heal the hole of hurts with the Holy One who brings life, light and love to you no matter what you go through!

Love, Debbie